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I know the former because he admitted to finding me by putting "pale, freckles" in the search field; I suspect the latter because the first words out of his mouth after confirming I was an actress were, "Ha! "Despite these red flags, Ross's charm got to me.
But after three dates of monologues about his divorce, I asked if he had the room in his life to get to know me. Because the main thing that kept me on the merry-go-round of Match was the fact that it worked…well, almost. Deep in Profile 2.0 (softer, more feminine, now with anecdotes!
As Being-a-Person-101 as it sounds, when they ask how I am I remind myself to tell them what I'm feeling not what I'm doing.It's likely I'll one day return to online dating.
I met interesting men and went to a ton of interesting wine bars.
In version 1.0, I'd unwittingly portrayed myself as a shiny object, in 2.0, an accommodating muse. I spent days working on a portrait of the real me–creative, ruminative, and hopeful. I shared my vision of the relationship I wanted ("We go slow..of the the best parts of dating in mid-life-ishness is getting to know each other's world-in-progress").
In both I resented the long drives, the amount of time I spent worrying about my hairstyle, and the throwing-spaghetti-against-the-wall element.
The endless grind of auditions—and trying to get them—means I'm well-practiced at barreling through serial humiliations by telling myself the game-changer is just around the corner. Acting and online dating live on it. But what acting didn't always give me—a sense of acceptance—online dating did.
Online daters often complain of the feeling of "people shopping" on the sites. In profile-land, my upscale Everywoman look—which had consigned me to the 'interesting faces' pile for film auditions (read: not the love interest)—somehow translated to tasteful glamour online.
Maybe this break needed to be a retirement.***It takes a certain kind of woman to walk through the looking-glass of online dating.
I wouldn't want you to assume that you, too, will lose a chunk of your thirties and thousands of dollars (therapy hours, clothes bought in the wake of misguided hookups...) just because you cobble together a profile.Related: As a professional actor for the last 15 years, my career has primed me for this level of extreme online dating.