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But here’s the fun thing about numbers: they don’t tell you as much as we think.Someone who’s had many sex partners may be the last of the red hot lovers… Someone who’s had very few may well be shy and awkward…This is just as true with a lack of dating experience as it is with other areas in life. Many people who have no dating or sexual experience worry about being a bad kisser or a bad lay or not knowing how affectionate to be in public or any of a myriad insecurities and anxieties.Having little (or no) experience has nothing to do with who you are as a person; it’s a contextless data point in your life. But No matter how many partners we’ve had or haven’t had, we all come to a new relationship not knowing the other person’s likes and dislikes.To them, dating is less of an organic experience and more of a collection of statistics, perfect builds and arbitrary rules that bear absolutely no relationship to reality.Much like that annoying guy who’d rage quit from your DOTA session if you didn’t do things Just So, they treat dating as a series of steps that To these would-be dating Min-Maxers, you have a limited time within which to get your various firsts – your first date, your first kiss, your first sexual experience, etc.It is what it is and that’s ) why you’ve had few (or no) relationships or sexual partners.
We tend to make assumptions based around expectations built up by pop-culture and expectations about what makes a “real” man, assuming that everybody (but us) has been riding the sex train since the 5th Grade while we’re still Machokeing our Combusken at 19.
If you venture into any Forever Alone or incel community like /r9k/, you’ll see hundreds of people lamenting how much sex they’ve never had and how the world is conspiring against them.
That’s not taking ownership of being socially inexperienced; that’s making it the core of your identity and letting it overtake your life.
The difference is deceptively simple, but it makes a world of difference.
See, one of the fears of being inexperienced is that your potential partners will see it as a negative.